Leaving online dating apps 'got my life back'

 Dating apps were popular even before the Corona virus epidemic, but they became even more popular due to lockdowns in various places.

Tinder, the world's most downloaded dating app, was swiped three billion times a day in March 2020, and the record has been broken several times since.

Although these apps have helped many single people meet each other over the years, some people have raised questions about what kind of environment they are creating. This is especially important for women as they face far more harassment and harassment than men on these platforms.

"The hardest thing for me was that I felt like I was being used for free sex," says Sheena Silver. It doesn't feel good and it hurts. '

Sheena Silver is a New York-based author and host of a dating podcast, A Single Serving. They have been using these dating apps for many years. "I was often asked to have sex before Hello. People used to do that before giving their names. I was being rejected again and again in this world and it made me feel less important.

Such messages are loaded on these platforms and are sent to both men and women. But the proportion of women affected is much higher.

According to data from the Pew Research Center, many women are victims of harassment on dating apps and sites. Fifty-seven percent of women between the ages of 18 and 34 say they have been sexually harassed or sent pictures that they did not ask for. The same is true of young girls between the ages of 15 and 17 who report receiving such messages

Some users have reported experiencing stress or even more severe experiences. A 2017 Pew Research Center study found that 36% of users found the links on these platforms extremely annoying. In the 2020 study, women between the ages of 18 and 35 mentioned physical harm. 19% of women complained while 9% of men complained.

In addition, a study found that heterosexual and bisexual men rarely talk about the dangers associated with these apps.

Nancy Joe, who writes about youth culture, was so obsessed with sales apps that she wrote a book about it. "These things have been normalized so quickly that they should never be normalized, such as vulgar speech, physical and mental damage," she says. "It's not happening to everyone on these apps, but it's happening so much that we need to talk about it," she says

Accountability

Some systems have been created to solve these problems.

Tinder, for example, has installed a system that detects swearing and asks the writer to re-evaluate it. In 2020, Bumble introduced artificial intelligence that blurs sent images and does not display images unless the person in front agrees. On some platforms, a selfie is requested from the user in order to have a real picture of the user. The goal is to prevent people from hiding behind false identities.

Cena Silver says these efforts are important and better than nothing, but they still need to be improved. Many people agree. "We only have one block left," she says. But the problem is that in order to block someone, you first have to go through their bad behavior

One big problem is that there is a risk of sexual violence when people actually meet. Although women are now starting to do a lot to avoid it, such as telling friends where they are going before leaving or keeping their phone fully charged, the risk remains.

According to a study, only 6 out of 45 dating apps were trying to prevent sex offenders from using their platform. Legislation to that effect was introduced in the US Congress in May 2021.

But there is a downside to US Internet law. According to him, websites cannot be held responsible if a third party uses their platform to harm someone else. This means that in this multi-billion dollar industry, you can't hold companies responsible for preventing their customers from behaving badly.

Voices are being raised in the United States for a review of the law

Can things get better?

At the moment, these platforms do not provide much security to the users. And many people can make positive connections on these platforms, but still users are at risk.

In addition to legislation and corporate efforts, this social change is also needed. Men need to be told how their actions are affecting others. Men rarely understand the effects of their bad behavior.

These attitudes were enough for Sheena Silver. About two years ago, he left the platform abruptly. And they don't even think about going back.

"I never got anything good out of them," she says. So why would I keep using them? It may sound a bit dramatic, but leaving them gave me back my life